My painful request

Please stop enslaving my mind
The little knowledge I have gathered from bits and pieces scattered everywhere taught me one thing:
I am enslaved in my mind.
That is why I’m asking:

Do you love or hate me?
No one seems to speak truthfully.

Is it that hard to answer?
Not exactly, I don’t think. 
For years you have taught me to love others, but it seems you don’t love me. You always come to bring me peace when I am at war. Although I never make the weapons, you don’t teach me how to make peace for myself.

Only that?No!
For years you have kept feeding me and giving me all other basic needs. Yet you never teach me how to make my own food and provide for my own basic needs. How long are you going to give instead of teach?

There’s more
One more thing, others have imposed sanctions on me. Now I am a slave to my own economy. I am used to economic crises that I have thought it wise to run away from for refuge. I am now an expat. This is what you have taught people to call me. How hard would it be for you to teach me to keep my economy stable?

The education you give me
You told me it is not my right to pursue higher education. If only you had taught me how to provide for myself instead… I would have worked hard to pay for my school fee. But because you enslaved my mind, I finished 12 years in school but can’t operate a smartphone.

Thanks for this!
You taught me how unfair the world is, that if I don’t work I will never be able to choose. So I end up wanting to be in places that I have never been but only see on television screens just because you tell me my home is insecure and lacks opportunities for people of my age. You corrupted my mind.

Can I blame you?
No! You taught me what is needed of me. But why can’t I learn that everything is my own to decide what to do with it? To develop is my own choice, to have a good education is my choice, and to reject your aids is my choice too. So why then can’t I see the advantages and disadvantages of your empathy? I blame myself, yes! But I am also pleading that you stop feeling empathy for me. It hurts to always hope for help from you when I can provide for myself.

Do this for me
Give me education and the opportunities! Teach me how to make the peace. Teach me how I can make food, instead of delivering it straight to me. Teach me how to stabilise my economy and make money for myself instead of bringing aids every decade. 

And finally, please stop telling my story!
Just stop. Because in second-hand materials there is always a missing touch. Instead of collecting aids for me from a crowd of well-wishers, teach me how to tell my own story and I will change the rest of my generation with it.